by Felix Curds
Everyday I wish with more gusto than the last that I was the only person in the world who did not require sleep to function like a normal human being. My non-existent sleep pattern is of medical research proportions and has been causing spontaneous karaoke outbursts of Mariah Carey which I only begin to regret after twelve minutes of having attempted it. I suppose I'm fine but I could be better, if only I had another extra 10 hours all to myself. Why, with all this extra time I could finish my Mt. Fuji of homework and make macaroons and become fluent in French and German- heck, I would be able to find out the one thing that I am better at than anybody else and change the world with it. I also think that me and Alden Penner would be better friends. Now wouldn't that just be ideal?