Hmmm....I really do not know about this whole "cool" thing, I mean people use it in the context of when their mood-rings change colour or to describe those who really wouldn't care if you got drunk and stoned. I don't like this. When I mean cool, I mean jumps out of a burning helicopter after saving a bunch of really cute kittens, opening a giant parachute with Bill Murray's face on it and then landing on a neon orange stage, greeting Annie Clarke with non-chalance, introducing me to her and then you know still having time to write a letter to their mother or make somebody else smile kinda cool. Chyeah.

Sadly, I don't even fit into my own definition of cool because only a loser leaves a trillion assignments to the last minute and seriously considers procrastination workshops. THANK JESUS-MARY-MOSES THAT IT IS FRIIIDAY!

Since I'm failing a bit at life right now I'd frankly quite settle for being rad...



...or being this music video or, you know, living in Darwin Deez's hair.

How have your days been loverlies?

Falling so madly in love with defunct bands is the worst.




...actually, falling in love with anything defunct is quite likely to make you incredibly miserable.

btw, a really, really BIG thanks again to all that helped with the last post. Youse are legends:)

CALLING UPON THE SUPER DUPER PEOPLE OF CYBERSPACE -know of any amazingly outlandish photos you could see gracing the likes of Dazed and Confused or Pop or iD magazine? It has to be good quality though, something I could stretch or shrink and not have look mutant on an A4 sheet of paper. Also, it'd be wonderful if no human junk was jangling or gyrating- this is a school project soooo people of around 70 would be moderating it and I'd rather not give them a heart attack. If you could send some links or whatever my way that'd be highly appreciated. Very, highly appreciated oh yes.

Please and thank you. Here's some cool music for you loverlies:

Oh, extra points if anyone can find anything editorial-like concerning Dia del los Muertos (Mexican Day of the Dead festival). Seriously, I will immortalize your goodness in a song.

Yep, I'm going now.

"Growing up in the Jersey suburbs fostered a well-developed sense of humor. There's nothing else to do as a kid except go to Friendly's and make fun of all the freaks."

-Karen O

I live in Adelaide and Miss O, I know exactly how you feel. Sometimes I have 3 hour long phone calls based solely on the nose-pickers and flickers, vegan androgynous couples and violent, hair chewers I see everyday. Thank you so much to the perverted wearer of the ankle-length leather jacket that catches my bus; I happen to know that you write some amazingly fucked up poetry about your psychotic sexual relationships and your undying love of cocaine- you make sense of listening to this song on repeat. I say all these things knowing that I'm not exactly a mentally stable prize pig either... I take comfort in that.

Looky here ladies and gents, I've found remnants of my sticker collection from grade 2 (the year when my dorky sentimentallity collided with my obsessive compulsive need to have everything in row/column fashion). Isn't it beautiful? It's saddens me to think that if teachers didn't become stingy little bitches after grade 5 my collection would be huge and able to house of family of beavers or something. It's also amazing, how, with the depletion of scratch'n'sniff offerings, my motivation in absorbing information about quadratics and microclimates in arid deserts is at a terrible, terrible low compared to my enthusiasm over, well, everything in primary school. Hmmm... I think this apathy is catching and I am sending a letter to Julia Gillard and the like.

hover images for source

I'd like to inhabit a really large tree house. It would have a goliath library with Jonathan Safran Foer and Cornelius Agrippa. The ceilings would be adorned with octopus chandeliers and the walls with endless framed painty rabbits. I enjoy eating by candle light and every so often demand dinner guests to "clean up, move down!". Did I mention Bill Murray was my roomie? Well, he is and his room is smothered in regurgitated party wares and exotic ladies. Every fortnight we karaoke and everyday we go elephant gun and therefore we lived happily ever after THE END!

This made my day. Dude playing piano in real time to strangers on ChatRoulette because he is super bad ass. WatchWatchWatchWatchWatch!

Okay it's working...now.

As a weekend-bike-ride enthusiast, I am a bit sad. My bike is in repair and won't be functional for what I estimate will be about a month. It wasn't a magnificent bike, in fact it was terrible: all the parts were rusted and people confused me for death on wheels due to the terrible creaking noise it made but it was mine. The other bikes available are either conjoined to a baby-seat (which I'm thinking about filling with jam donuts as it most certainly will not be seating my 2 year old troll of a brother) or are so small they'd make my knees touch my chin whilst I was peddlin. So, I will probably become a fat jolly person now. Oh well...

Dear Mr. Ryan Gosling,
you are the opposite of everything I hate in a person. One day I will acquire myself a choir of ghoulish and ghostly loverlies and you can call upon your ghoulish and ghostly lovelies and we will all re-enact sketches from Mickey Mouse Club and sing till dawn because that would make the world a better place. Shall we arrange for it to be on Friday? Please and thankyou.


Your sincerely,
Felix Curds


p.s. this was just so fucking priceless thankyou for infinity.

Everyday I wish with more gusto than the last that I was the only person in the world who did not require sleep to function like a normal human being. My non-existent sleep pattern is of medical research proportions and has been causing spontaneous karaoke outbursts of Mariah Carey which I only begin to regret after twelve minutes of having attempted it. I suppose I'm fine but I could be better, if only I had another extra 10 hours all to myself. Why, with all this extra time I could finish my Mt. Fuji of homework and make macaroons and become fluent in French and German- heck, I would be able to find out the one thing that I am better at than anybody else and change the world with it. I also think that me and Alden Penner would be better friends. Now wouldn't that just be ideal?

A compilation of swonderful things that make me smile like a mad-man.

I'm sorry, hello. How are you? Ummm, more importantly what is your chosen name? May I call you by it? You're pets- are they well? You know, I could really get to liking you...